Social skills is something we all need so lacking in social skills can be an issue, right? If you have students who are struggling, do you know what are the basic social skills and how to help students who are lacking them? Get all these answers by reading on.
What Are The Basic Social Skills?
There are 13 basic social skills that come to mind when wondering what are the basic social skills that students need. These are:
- Listening
- Sharing
- Making eye contact
- Following directions
- Working well with others
- Respecting personal space
- Using manners & polite words
- Taking turns
- Being a good sport
- Waiting and having patience
- Focusing on what you are doing
- Having an appropriate reaction to the problem
- Good hygiene
If you are looking for more information on what each involves, check out this post all about the basics.
Is Lacking Social Skills A Problem?
So is it really a problem to lack social skills?
The short answer is yes. Social skills are what help us interact and communicate with those around us. Having good social skills means we are able to connect with others. Connection is key to building relationships and having a healthy lifestyle.
Oftentimes, children want to connect with others. They want to form relationships with staff and friendships with peers. But not being able to pick up on social cues and struggle with interaction. This can lead to an uncomfortable situation for all. When this happens, people naturally start to stay away from uncomfortable situations or people. This can lead to lack of relationships.
So do introverts lack social skills then? Not necessarily. Just because a person is shy doesn’t mean they struggle with their interaction and communication with others. It may mean that it is harder for them with unknown people or when in a larger group. However, if they have the skills needed and can display those skills, they aren’t really lacking.
How to Help Students Lacking in Social Skills
There are 3 main steps you can take to help those who wonder “why do I lack social skills?”
These steps are:
- Raise Awareness
- Direct Instruction
- Practice
Let’s look into each step further.
Raise Awareness
The first step is making the child aware of social skills.
This usually needs to happen in a more controlled situation than in a real-life scenario. Noticing can be a hard thing so having it be in a controlled situation where the student can really take in what is happening works best.
Two of the best ways to begin noticing is with books or video clips. With both of these, you can stop and have the student think about what is happening in the situation. Using a book, you can pause on different pages. With video clips, you can select specific snip-its that are personalized to what real-life situations the child is in. Plus with both of these, you can use student interest to make the lesson really hit home and be engaging for the student.
Using books and videos, students can use their eyes to notice facial expressions, where the character’s eyes are looking, and body language. Then they can predict what the character is thinking about (using eye gaze). Additionally, students can make predictions on how the character is feeling based on prior experiences they have had themselves. Lastly, making a prediction as to what will happen next is important too.
Direct Instruction on How to Develop Social Skills
Teaching social skills is an important component that some of our students need. Many times, children miss important cues from others as to how to interact or react with others. When this happens, direct instruction is needed.
Direct instruction means looking at the specific gaps that students have in their social understanding and then teaching them what they need to fill in those gaps. This can be done with a social story or a lesson.
A social story is where you select a specific situation or setting to describe to the student. Then you suggest a specific response that would be appropriate. If you are looking for how to write a social story that is effective, check out this post.
Direct instruction in social skills is often part of a behavior intervention plan. If you aren’t sure where to start with figuring out tough student behavior and writing up a plan, grab this free guide. You’ll be guided through 5 easy steps to writing an amazing behavior plan. Get it sent directly to your inbox so you can start figuring out tricky behavior today.
Direct Instruction with Lessons
With lessons, this can go a variety of ways. You could either do a lesson in the traditional sense or you could do more of a re-teaching. The reteaching can be reading a book on the topic and discussing it while reading. There are so many great books out there for social skills! A simple Google search on the topic will yield some great results – just make sure to read some of the reviews to see if it is really going to hit the point you are looking for. Some of my favorites include anything by Julia Cook, the Ninja Life Hacks series, A Little Spot of…series, and those by Bryan Smith.
Lessons done in the traditional sense can also be a great route to go. This is especially great for students who really need things explicitly stated from a very foundational level. Including definitions of key terms, using visuals, getting students engaged using books or real-life scenarios are all ways to make the lesson impactful to students.
If you are looking for a done for you option on the foundations of what are social skills, check out this resource. You’ll find 2 lessons. One on what social skills means. The other lesson is all about thinking with your eyes – an important concept to help notice things. There are also activities that are part of each lesson including real-life scenarios to help students see these things in their own lives. Plus students become social skills secret agents during the lesson, it is super engaging and motivating. We are talking a fingerprint scanner, a mission card, social skills secret agent toolbox, and a social skills secret agent badge – how fun is that?!? Find it here.
Practice, Practice, and Practice Some More
Having students practice noticing these skills is the first step.
Noticing can be students watching videos or people in person to see their interactions. Or you can throw out some engaging examples for kids in the form of scenarios. Discuss what the main person is doing in the situation. How they might feel. What they might do next.
After having them notice things, ask some great conversation-provoking questions. What might happen next? What are they using to make this prediction? If the character does that, what might happen next?
Role playing is another great way of how to demonstrate social skills. Give the students a situation or scenario in full to have them act out. As they become better, pose a situation and have them come up with what would be an appropriate response that is then acted out.
The more a student can practice a specific skill or response when they are in a good mind frame, the better off the chances are for them to generalize the skill.
Looking for a done for you resource full of scenarios that students can practice all this on? Then look at this What Are Social Skills Examples resource. You’ll find 24 real-life examples of everyday things that can happen while at school on task cards. If you notice a student is struggling in a specific area, there are blank cards to fill in your own. Students love the engaging secret agent theme (complete with a secret mission, magnifying glasses, and a helpful visual) as it gets them excited about learning. Find it here.
More on What is Lacking Social Skills
Need the basics on what is social skills? Click here to read all about it.
Looking for more on lacking social skills meaning and how to help? Read this article from Brain Balance Centers for some great ideas.
Check out this article from Understood with some great information and word for lack of social skills.
Happy Teaching!
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